I've always loved that song...I just finished watching "Amadeus" in my music class and I really didn't know that it was more a serious dramedy (there's such a thing!) and not a farce like I thought it was. It's really a beautiful movie and it deserved all eight Oscars (!!!) it received. Observe this scene:
One of my faves. The scenes where Salieri burns his crucifix, the Emperor yawns during one of Mozart's operas, and the ending are great, too. I was rooting for Salieri, personally, but I always root for the villain...but, wait, who was the villain in this movie? Was it Mozart or Salieri? Mozart was an arrogant snob and Salieri plotted to kill him, so they're both not very decent men (although one can argue that Mozart's arrogance and condescension led the amiable Salieri to such a desperate act), but whose tale of strife was more worthy of compassion? A little tidbit for you all: in the spell check on this site, Mozart is considered correct while Salieri is considered a misspelling. It seems history has forgotten Salieri in a way that makes simple word processing have no clue who he is, which is huge considering his status during his time. Handel, Beethoven, Haydn, Bach, those are all in the spell check's dictionary. Not Salieri. Tragic, because I like his music just as much as any of those other guys' stuff. What an odd society we live in! It judges if one has "made it" based on Wikipedia and spell check. Thankfully, Herr Salieri at least has the former. Anyway, the cast was great, too. Tom Hulce (Mozart) and F. Murray Abraham (Salieri) were both nominated for Best Actor Oscars. It's very rare that a movie has two actors nominated for the same award. Abraham won, which is cool because Salieri was my favorite character (can't you tell?). I think it's awesome how he was always dressed in black and brown, while Mozart always wore lots of colors. Nice contrast. I loved Jeffrey Jones as Emperor Joseph II, too, and he was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Golden Globe, but he didn't win (tear). "I will speak for you, Father. I speak for all mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their patron saint...Mediocrities everywhere...I absolve you...I absolve you...I absolve you...I absolve you...I absolve you all..."
It would be impossible to attempt to write a decent, unbiased review of this film because I grew up with the show it is based on and I am very attached to it. It would, on the other hand, also be near impossible to write a coherent, biased review of this film because my rage would distort it beyond understanding. Therefore, I shall simply point out all of the mistakes and offer my suggestion for how to make the sequel (yes, the ending set up for a sequel) better. I understand the movie makers wanted to suggest a new spin on the series (hence the word "evolution" in the title), but it was went about in such a way that can only be described as "wrong." Tackling the daunting task of suggesting ways they could have both changed the series a bit and made the movie good is far too overwhelming for me right now, so I will simply point out mistakes. WARNING: SPOILERS GALORE ARE COMING! But, seriously, don't see this movie. First up, the plot: I'm assuming that this film based itself on "Dragon Ball" (not "Dragonball," guys), which is the first series, and not "Dragon Ball Z," which is the second and, frankly, the more well known to Western audiences. That being said, it turned out to be a bastardized combination of the time before the series began (Gohan, Goku's grandfather, is still alive for almost the first third of the film) and the final saga of the series, which involved Piccolo Daimao (the first/old one, not the one in "Z"). Honestly, I think it's great they based it on "Dragon Ball" because that one was a little more realistic. However, they seemed to try to make it too realistic by placing Goku and Chi-Chi in high school. Oh, and they look like this: They're to the right. To the left is Bulma and some mystery girl in red that is never identified (more on them in the characters section). Here are the problems in the plot: 1) Gohan is alive but is killed by Piccolo - Fans of the series know that it was Goku in his Ōzaru form that destroyed his house and killed Gohan. I kind of like how Gohan is still alive, but his death by Goku's hands is very important for a number of reasons, particularly the realization that Goku was the giant monster that killed Gohan and he is, in fact, a Saiyan. This leads to... 2) Goku is Ōzaru, but Ōzaru isn't a Saiyan - Let me explain: Ōzaru is portrayed as a servant of Piccolo and not what a Saiyan transforms into when spying a full moon. Goku is Ōzaru and was sent to Earth to destroy it when the blood moon eclipses the sun. That's when Ōzaru will be awakened. I could go on further, but this is better explained in the characters section. 3) The elements taken from "Journey to the West" have been taken out - Toriyama Akira, creator of the series, based it on the famous Chinese legend. While this is really dominant only in the first saga (with Emperor Pilaf), the elements featured are important later on. These elements include the extending pole (Gohan has a pole in the film but it doesn't extend and simply disappears after he's killed), Goku's tail and transformation (Goku hasn't a tail but does transform), the Nimbus Cloud (this is completely removed), and shape-shifting (Oolong and Puar aren't even in the movie), to name a few. This is very tragic because while the anime was a humorous take on an old legend, the movie was a bastardization that didn't retain any of the charm. 4) The absence of Kami and Piccolo Jr. - Piccolo is the evil half of Kami that was expelled from his body and contained in a rice cooker. He was released by Pilaf and used the Dragon Balls to restore his youth, but was killed by Goku. Before dying, Piccolo spits an egg across the world and it hatches into Piccolo Jr. (the one in "Z"). Jr. fights Goku in the Tenkaichi Budokai tournament but loses and retreats. Now, most fans already know that, but I wrote it all to state that none of it is true in the movie. The only part that comes close is his containment, but that was done by a group of monks and not Roshi's master Mutaito (side-note: Roshi's master in the movie is a black guy named Sifu Norris...huh?). 5) A Tenkaichi Budokai-esque tournament is shown, but is not elaborated on - Piccolo's mystery girl ("Mai" according to Wikipedia, more on her in the characters section) enters a tournament that Chi-Chi was entered in (oh yeah, she's a fighter now) to obtain her blood and make a disguise so she can steal the Dragon Balls. Apparently, when Roshi takes Goku to a "secluded place" to train him, it's now a training ground with a tournament...? That was never clear. Only one scene of the tournament is shown, making it important only for "Mai" to obtain the blood. It's hardly explained why it exists and getting the blood could have been achieved without the tournament altogether. Plus, where's the blonde announcer? This problem was just dumb. 6) In the end, Piccolo is not sealed or killed but nursed back to health by some poor village woman that "Mai" almost killed while looking for a Dragon Ball - Yep, that about explains it. That's the sequel set-up. No Piccolo Jr., but some villager who's never identified helping someone who ordered her village to be destroyed. Fair enough. Those are all the major gripes. The whole older characters and high school setting aren't very bad, but the stories of Goku and Piccolo should have been more by-the-book. Part two will be up soon, but for now, here's some memories:
I have no intention of discussing the swine flu since there is really nothing left for me to say about it. I just wanted to write that clever little title...been gone a while with a broken computer but now I'm back and I've brought my boredom with me. Not much new...saw "Dragonball Evolution" and let it take a big dump on my childhood (I suppose I had it coming for spending money to see that debacle). I'll post something about it soon, maybe not a review but a list of unforgivable mistakes the movie makers made (mistake number one: it's called "Dragon Ball" not "Dragonball"...get it right, guys). For now, I'll just post something I've wanted to post for a while: a video featuring a song from the game "Dragon Warrior Monsters 2" (known in Japan as "Dragon Quest") that plays when Prince Kameha and his cohort Warabou are encountered. This is kind of significant for me because anytime we would read an old English play in class and those comedic characters showed up, I would think of this song. Characters like Lancelet from "The Merchant of Venice" and Sir Politic Would-Be from "Volpone" should always be accompanied by this song. Just think of any of the characters described as "clowns" in a Shakespeare play and this song works for them:
"Monsters 2" is a great game, by the by. Kind of a knock-off of Pokemon, with the two different game packs ("Cobi's Journey" and Tara's Adventure"), but fun and unique in its own way. The first "Monsters" was just a single game and was fun, too. Not just for kids.
I saw "Observe and Report" last night and I honestly thought it was funny as hell. There are several reviewers who don't agree with me but I think it's because most of the people reviewing this movie are not apart of the target audience. I'll agree that this film has several vulgar, inappropriate moments and a gratuitous use of the F-bomb (gratuitous may be too weak of a word in this case), but I believe it's fair to compare it to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters." Let me explain. When "Aqua Teen" hit theaters, I saw it with my friends and loved it. My friends and I are fans of the show and we got all of the jokes in the film. The next morning, when Jeffrey Lyons and Alison Bailes reviewed it on their show "Reel Talk," they ripped it apart because they thought it wasn't funny. Of course they thought it wasn't funny! Neither one of them had ever seen the show so they obviously didn't get the movie. How is this similar to "Observe?" Lyons and Bailes weren't apart of the demographic "Aqua Teen" was aimed at and they aren't apart of the demographic "Observe" is aimed at. Actually, they hated "Observe," with Bailes calling it "not a comedy" and Lyons saying it's "mean-spirited" and "never funny." This film is so apparently aimed at teenagers and at twenty-somethings, not at middle-aged film critics. Another problem with the critics is how they all typecast Seth Rogen. On "Reel Talk," Lyons continuously states that this beardless Rogen is not funny and "is a different kind of actor." I was quite relieved to see a Rogen part that wasn't a stoner. We've seen enough of that. It's shameful to typecast actors but this particular instance angers me because when "Fred Claus" (a movie I thoroughly enjoyed) came out, Bailes stated that she was unhappy with Vince Vaughn's performance and he would have been better off in a raunchier role. Lyons proceeded to tell her she was typecasting him and that "we don't need another 'Bad Santa.'" Now, Lyons is typecasting Rogen and no one says a word to deny him. They do state that it's good for him to try to expand his choice in roles, but simply mentioning this unnecessary observance is uncalled for. My final qualm about the reviews also stems from "Reel Talk." Lyons mentions his disgust about seeing the flasher and believed it was unnecessary to show him. In the case of nudity, there is only one scene in which a topless woman is shown. The rest of the nudity is full-frontal manhood. It's about time films had equal opportunity nudity. In other words, if a naked person needs to be shown, show a naked person of the opposite sex later in the movie. Bailes mentions "seeing the flasher naked" is "the only funny part of the film" and I halfway agree: it was definitely funny, but not the only funny part of the film. I don't wish to write a long review of this film in the same way I did for "Watchmen," but I will justify my accusations. This film is not for everybody and I can guarantee that everyone will be offended by something in it. However, I think a line from MSN's review of the film sums it up very well: "It's a strong, strange comedy that goes for the funny bone and the jugular." It is violent at some points and, as stated before, profanity-laden to the extreme, so, like "Watchmen," it's not for the kiddies. But, if you can tolerate all of that and find the humor both in the suggestive material and past it (yes, if examined deep enough, there IS a humorous, underlaid meaning), you will enjoy this movie. Rogen's character is both likeable and loathable at the same time and his cringe-worthy comments serve only to make him seem more realistic. That's the main problem with all of these critics' reviews: they all mulled over the language, offended by it to the extreme. I have said the same thing for years now every time a critic cries over profanity: THAT'S HOW PEOPLE TALK. And, in the case of this movie and its motley crew cast of characters (Anna Faris' bimbo, Ray Liotta's exasperated detective, Celia Weston's drunk mother), that's how people act. At times, Rogen does come across as mean-spirited, but we would all be lying if we said that we never knew anyone in our lives that was like that. This film manages to take the gross-out comedy genre and give it characters that make the audience laugh with their over-exaggerated depictions of real life and real people, while also creating such an extreme of absurdity that saves it from being a social commentary (I loved this movie, but I would never be foolish enough to call it that). It's not wrong to root for Rogen, even if you feel dirty at times for doing so. That's the point. On a final note, the audience I was surrounded with last night consisted almost completely of the target demographic. And do you know what they were doing the whole movie? Laughing. Laughing, laughing, laughing. The critics' reviews will not dictate the success of this movie. It will be all of the young people who saw its opening and then go and recommend it to their young friends because it's funny, it's raunchy, and it makes you forget the world for an hour and a half, just as a movie should. Here is the full review from MSN: http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie-critic-reviews/observe-and-report/#Review_0 And I used to have the Reel Talk review on here, but since the show has been cancelled, the review has disappeared from the internet. You can just take my word for it, right?
My four-day weekend starts tomorrow so I'm looking forward to lounging and celebrating Easter with chocolate and num-num fancy dinner. I found that dreaded beetle crawling up the stairs, coming after me. What I love is how my cat was resting right next to it, like it was her Buddy (♪My Buddy, My Buddy, he's a creepy beetle and he wants to kill my owner! My Buddy and Me!♪). Hey, do your friggin' job and kill it! I ended up throwing shoes at it and maneuvering around it to reach the vacuum. I know how this sounds and what you're thinking about me and you're wrong. That thing was HUGE! I could just imagine that thing sitting in my closet and sharpening a knife on its boot, waiting for me to come back: ......no picture? Oh, okay. Well, you can picture it in your mind. Well, so now the basement is safe. I was playing "Symphony of the Night" before I caught that thing, though, because no one is stopping me from playing with Alucard: NOBODY! Except maybe those undead brutes in the Colosseum...they slashed up my poor vampire until he exploded into a cloud of blood. Sigh...I need to be more careful. So, that's the most recent saga of my life: bug huntin' and fightin' the undead. I think that looks like this: That's how Spanky REALLY bug hunts...with a muthertruckin' sword. On a side-note, I've been reading the play "Volpone" by Ben Jonson in class and I realized that British humor really hasn't changed that much over the years (the play is from 1606). It's a lot of banter that you really have to listen to to get. I'd provide an example from the play but you're better off just reading it yourself. Check out this poster I found for an old performance of it: Just awesome.
Floundering in my low spirits for the past few weeks, I've been trying to keep myself amused by reading humor articles and watching YouTube videos. One of my favorite sites (www.adultswim.com) provides several links to www.cracked.com for various hilarities, often lists of things. One list I found while searching the site featured this priceless picture: The provided caption: "This is what happens when 'Batman' is written by Liberace. Also, Robin can call it red all he wants, but according to our Crayola box set, Batman's costume is actually pretty-princess-pink." This was only the first entry in "The 20 Most Ridiculous Batman Comics Ever Released," which is here: http://www.cracked.com/article_16870_20-most-ridiculous-batman-comics-ever-released.html That list is fairly amusing, but the best one I've found on Cracked is this one: http://www.cracked.com/article_16990_lost-in-translation-20-baffling-foreign-movie-posters.html I can't describe it without giving away the funny parts (it must be a surprise), but I can say that it's pretty funny as hell. As for the video portion of this episode, I've been finding humor in the YouTube stylings of the Angry Video Game Nerd. He's not the most eloquent fellow in the world but I can appreciate what he does. It's his job to play very bad games for the NES, SNES, Genesis, and Atari (and, soon, the N64) and review them...with very much cursing involved. I've never played a lot of the games he reviews (the older games I do play are the good ones he ignores) but that doesn't make his reviews any less funny for me and that should be the same for any gamer. As long as you like video games (you don't even have to play them regularly), you'll appreciate this guy. This video is my favorite one, featuring a review of a game accessory (the Power Glove from Nintendo). The Nerd tests it on several NES games and, needless to say, it does NOT go well (WARNING! EXCESSIVE CURSING AHEAD!):
The hilarious "Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest" and "Top Gun" jokes will be funny to anyone who has played those games before, but for those who haven't and/or don't know what they are, here's the Nerd's review of them to help clarify some things (WARNING STILL IN EFFECT!):
Trust me, all of the videos this guy makes are great, so you should check out his YouTube channel if you liked these. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of the games he reviews. He'll make you regret learning about them and never want to play them. Oh, joy of joys. PS: Losing to Glass Joe is quite a calamity: As Cracked put it: "Look at him, it's like he thinks there's a guy out in the audience with a rifle on him." (For the fantastic list that came from, follow this link): http://www.cracked.com/article_15696_10-most-irritatingly-impossible-old-school-video-games.html
Still sick...I was just playing "Symphony of the Night" in my basement, minding my own business, when I saw this dark object on the side of my folding closet door. I thought perhaps it was the door hinge and ignored it. Some minutes later, I caught sight of it again...on the surface of the door...frightened, I clicked my lamp on and spied its true from: a rather large, beetle-like insect (I'd find and provide a picture, but that'll just sceeve everyone out). I stared at it, unsure of what to do. It froze, then crawled across my door some more...gently rapping, rapping on my closet door. I first tried to vacuum it up with a hand vac, but the suction wasn't strong enough (!!), so I grabbed a game box, determined to smash it. It slunk between the door and the above jam, so I seized the knob, slid it open, and thrust it shut over and over until I heard a buzz: "Nevermore." It tumbled down and I shrieked, hopping back. I stood still for a moment, then put a box in front of the bottom door jam, adding footstools in front of that. I played on, for I wasn't going to let that beast stop my fun, and after an untimely death, I turned the game off and went upstairs. It lives in my closet now...waiting for my return...okay, that was a bit dramatic, I'll admit. But it was fun to write. I love Poe...but, seriously, that thing is down there waiting for me and I'm afraid to confront it. It's HUMONGOUS. My blockade won't stop its pursuit. Perhaps I'll go back down there and finish it off...I'll need to get in my closet eventually. Sigh...I'll end with this video that's really only a song accompanied by a picture:
It's the song heard in Master Librarian's chamber and my favorite song from "Symphony." Despite the video showing a picture of the album cover, this song (of course) isn't included on the soundtrack, for whatever reason. It makes me think of a crowded street in Medieval Europe, like in England or something, and there's one suspicious person slinking around the people. I just finished reading "The Merchant of Venice," so maybe that's why. I must be thinking of Shylock, since this song sounds very Middle Eastern and he's the Jew. I'm being very creative today...
Nothing really interesting on this end. I have been struck with a terrible illness and I pray that the cause is only allergies from the intense wind and not a virus. I've been playing "Castlevania" lately and I desperately wanted to play today but I didn't want to sit in my basement...in the cold...and the dark...very fitting for a "Castlevania" game but not for my condition. I just bought a used copy of "Lament of Innocence" for ten dollars and it's a lot of fun. Hot whip-on-demon action. It's funny how I play because I know there's a bunch of combos to perform but I'm kind a of button-masher so Leon just ends up flailing. Speaking of Leon... Good God, Kojima Ayami is a goddess of an artist. Her androgynous illustrations of the "Castlevania" cast are like the music of Yamane Michiru: they define the series (interesting, both women. Dracula loves his ladies). Anyway, it's a great game. It's dark as hell (both figuratively and literally) and it leaves a great unsettled feeling in the pit of the stomach during and after playing. Highly recommended to fans of "Castlevania" and fun games. I've also been playing "Symphony of the Night," which I've had for a while. There's not much I can say about it that hasn't been said already. It's a classic for a reason, folks. Well, two reasons: it's fun and... Come on , now. Alucard is every game gal's fantasy boyfriend. Alucard and papa Dracula are the best vampires ever. They would destroy all of those "Twilight" wannabees. Well, I have nothing left to say, so here's some eye candy of Leon: And Alucard: and, of course, the big boy himself, Dracula:
ACTIVIA..... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T EAT THIS! I went to get lunch in between classes and there weren't any good sandwiches so I had to buy something else. Now, if all they have is yogurt, I'm down with that. I love yogurt. And this one was peach. I love peach yogurt. BUT...it was Activia peach yogurt. I was scared to eat it because I've never had Activia before and I was afraid of what it would do to my system. But, dagnabbit, I wanted peach yogurt...so I bought it...went through my day...okay, stop. You know those SNL sketches with Kristen Wiig playing Jamie Lee Curtis in the Activia commercials and she keeps BMing in her pants?
THOSE ARE TRUE! I have been SO sick ever since I got home. And I'm not even her age! I'm not even close to her age! I don't have digestive problems so why did I eat that? Aw, hell, NOW I DO! At least tonight I do. Why did I eat that...no, better question, why would something that's supposed to regulate you destroy you? I'm never eating that again...sorry, major TMI moment but I'm sorry, it had to be said. IT HAD TO BE! RUN AWAY FROM ACTIVIA! DON'T EAT IT!
